I remember when

The fetusmobile drove by the pizza place at lunch today. It made me feel all nostalgic, conjuring up fond memories of hearing the familiar jingle on a cold winter’s morn. I’d leap out of my seat and run to the window to see the distinctive truck slowly making its way down the street with treats for all the boys and girls. If I had been especially good my mom would give me a fiver and I’d run out the front door shouting “fetus man! fetus man!” Those were the days.

I hadn’t really paid attention to the fetusmobile industry but I gather that the whole thing has become politicized in recent years. Evidently The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform has a near monopoly on fetusmobiles, pressuring the little guy to the point where it’s no longer an economically viable small business. Really a shame.

Still, I wonder if you can hire them for parties. I bet the drivers have some pretty wild stories, like maybe that one time he drag raced a stem cell freezer truck.